Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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