I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That accounts for only three of the penises
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
