I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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