I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
