I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
