I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All I want is dick and wine.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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