Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
