I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
