On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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