But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
