Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize