Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I am midnight drunk by noon
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Im part way to drunk.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
