I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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