Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
