i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore