I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
