I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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