once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
