weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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