its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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