Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
