She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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