My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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