he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
