that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize