Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
