btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize