No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize