Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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