Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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