No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
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I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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