U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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