So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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