i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
