so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
