Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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