Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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