How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if only i could text you this smell
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
