found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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