its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
