All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
