Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
