uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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