Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
