quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
