Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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