whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
