dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
