He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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