She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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