She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize