is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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