even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
