I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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