You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
