This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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